The Bullets of My Gun
by The Wandering Quill
Summary: The Magus Killer never thought he would meet someone who could surpass him in terms of skill in firearms. He DEFINITELY did not expect her to wield greater control over time, either…Good thing the Witch Killer is his Servant. (Note: Chapter 1 may be revised again after RL issues are taken cared of)
1. Return to Zero

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Fate/Zero_ or _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_. Those two wonderful series belong to TYPE-MOON and SHAFT, respectively. :) Also, they were both written by the same guy: Gen Urobuchi.

**A/N:**** Legal ass-covering aside…as I was watching PMMM, I couldn't help but realize how similar-ish Homura and Kiritsugu were (time abilities, guns, and general badassery FTW). Therefore, ergo, to wit…my witty little brain came up with **_**THIS**_** glorious trainwreck! :D If you've already read **_**Birds of a Feather**_**, you'd know that something like this was bound to happen eventually, given how I feel about the two.**

**Also, the aria was an indication.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**The Bullets of My Gun  
**_**Prologue: Return to Zero**_

_Every time I stop and stumble in doubt and darkness,  
__I close my eyes and think back to you._

* * *

"Been waiting a long time for this, huh?"

"…_Yes. I…I have."_

She took a deep breath, closing Her eyes briefly as She tried to compose Herself for the impending task ahead. After a moment, those eyes opened again, golden pools gazing imploringly at Her friend standing before Her.

"_Sayaka-chan, how is…how is my hair? Is everything okay? Do I look presentable?"_

The bluenette swordswoman stared at Her for so long, She began to fidget nervously under that sapphire gaze. "You're kidding, right? Madoka, You're like…**A FREAKIN'**_** GODDESS**_," she deadpanned, facepalming afterwards. "_Of course_ You look fine! Besides, I'm pretty sure Your appearance wouldn't matter much anyway as long as You show up."

Madoka bit Her lip, absently twirling a lock of Her long pink hair as She considered Her friend's words. For a moment, She resembled the schoolgirl She once used to be before Her Ascension into God—er, _Goddess_hood. Her divine form flickered as well, briefly portraying Her as She once was, with the Mitakihara school uniform and all. _"Well, yes, I know…but still, I want to make sure! This day is…very important. I want to make sure that I'll be doing everything right. I…I don't want to mess this up after all that's happened…after all she's been through."_

Sayaka snorted as she smugly crossed her arms, earning a questioning look from the Goddess. "Pffffft. Never thought I'd see the day a divine being would get so flustered over _finally_ reuniting with Her best friend (not saying I'm jealous) of _all time_…Pun not intended, by the way."

"_S—Sayaka-chan!"_

Her friend merely smirked at Her outburst, serving to color Her cheeks further than what they already were. Madoka's mind raced as She tried to recover from the blue Puella Magi's teasing, hopefully with something witty or something distracting...

"_You…You _totally _intended that pun!"_

…Fail, Madokami. Utter _**fail**_.

Sayaka laughed, patting the Goddess on the shoulder. "Geez, You're such a dork…"

"_I am not!"_

Her friend's smile turned from teasing to slightly wistful as the laughter gradually subsided. She could feel the moment at hand imminently approaching, and the air seemed to be unusually charged, as if also in anticipation of what was to come.

"Well, Madoka…I guess You gotta get going now. Wouldn't want to be late, eh?"

The Goddess smiled sadly as She began to turn away, Her form slowly fading as She began Her descent into the mortal plane.

"_That would be terrible, wouldn't it? Homura-chan's been waiting for so long…"_

* * *

…Too many.

There were simply too many of them.

This was…too big a job for her to handle alone.

_Heh…this is strangely fitting_, she thought to herself as the horde closed in around her, shoulders drooping as weariness settled heavily within her soul. _Somehow, somewhere, in another place…I feel as if this situation is far too familiar. The odds stacked against me, chances of succeeding at an all time low…_

She knew she wouldn't survive this overwhelming force, but the least she could do was decimate their numbers to the point where another Puella Magi could step in and take care of the remnants…Hopefully before the remaining Wraiths got too out of hand. It would be terrible—not to mention _annoying_—if all her hard work and sacrifice went to waste, and the leftover Wraiths attacked a group of innocents, killing them because some Puella Magi didn't do her _damn_ job.

_What a way to go…Certainly seems fitting after all the hell I went through. Always have to go out with a bang, don't I?_

Such thoughts consumed Akemi Homura, former time-traveler extraordinaire, as she called upon her last resort. The wings, once so pristine and white in the birth of this new world, slowly fanned out from the Puella Magi's back, growing to immense proportions as the horde of Wraiths was but a minute away from clashing with the walking legend. The feathers had long since ceased to be distinguished anymore, turning her wings into nightmarish appendages that were but a shadow of its former self, and had adopted the color of a darkened Soul Gem, swirling with hues not unlike that of a Witch's Barrier from the old world.

_What caused this corruption?_ the dark-haired Puella Magi had asked herself several times in the past 200 years she spent in the new world. _I do not overly take pleasure in killing Wraiths and I have been careful to keep my Soul Gem as pure as I am able, so…why?_

The answer was painfully obvious—in more ways than one—and she could not help but laugh once she had realized the truth around a decade ago.

_I miss Madoka too much. The despair I refuse to acknowledge has corrupted my wings instead, hoping to make me see the truth. Ha-ha…and there's also _that _issue, I suppose:_

…_I have lived for far too long, not including the time spent in _this_ world. My end must come…and then we will be together at last._

"Madoka…" Homura whispered longingly as the Wraiths descended upon her.

Her nightmarish wings enveloped the battlefield, the energy within them swirling madly with power as it caressed those inside in a nighttime embrace. Many Wraiths writhed as they dissolved from its touch, fading away and leaving Grief Cubes for passing Puellae Magi to pick up later. At the center of the chaos, the dark-haired girl couldn't help but smile wryly at the thought. _Whoever comes by will have a field day with all of these Grief Cubes lying around…_she mused as she sank to her knees, the bone-weary exhaustion taking hold of her, reaching deep into her very soul. The wings were already costly enough to maintain against far smaller numbers.

Homura smiled one last time as she closed her eyes, her right hand curling protectively around the darkening Soul Gem in her left hand.

_Madoka…I'll be there soon._

A tear escaped, trailing down the side of her cheek.

_It's finally over_.

* * *

Contrary to what the former time-traveler had thought, no Puellae Magi dared to touch the hundred Grief Cubes that lay scattered about in the aftermath of what historians would call The Battle of a Hundred Wraiths. It was not due to fear or suspicion, no…quite the opposite, really. They were simply…in awe of what transpired beneath that amber sky; holding too much respect for the legendary Akemi Homura—or was it simply _absolute shock_ from the sheer number lying around?—to touch the prizes from her great sacrifice.

…At least, only for the week following the momentous event. Grief Cubes were valuable after all, and Akemi Homura would have wanted them to use it anyway, so that they could continue to protect the world.

The least they could do for such an important figure was to round up the remaining Wraiths and kill them—a grand total of…5.

However, even with such a measly number in comparison to the 100 Wraiths slain by Homura herself, the Puellae Magi who took care of the remnants were treated with greater respect by their comrades and the world at large. To clash with the same Wraiths who were once part of the Great Horde…the Great Horde that, by extension, clashed with THE Akemi Homura…

It was but another event to add to her already legendary repertoire…some of which only countless alternative timelines could speak of.

…One could, theoretically speaking, almost say that the only ones aware of the full details behind her endeavors were those of omnipotent status.

One of them was a Goddess.

And the _other_…

* * *

This was the day he had been waiting eight long years for…The day for a miracle.

"_Shut. Shut. Shut. Shut. Shut._

_Five perfections __**for each repetition**__. And now, let the filled sigils be annihilated in my stead._

_Ye first, O silver, O iron, O stone of the foundation, O Archduke of __**the Contract**__. Hear me in the name of our great teacher, the Archmagus Schweinorg._

_Let the descending winds be as a wall. Let the gates in all directions be shut, rising above the crown, and let the three-forked roads to the Kingdom __**revolve**__._

_Set._

_Let thy body rest under my dominion; let __**my fate**__ rest in thy blade._

_If thou submitteth to the call of the Holy Grail, and if thou wilt obey __**this mind, this reason,**__ then thou shalt respond._

_**I make my oath here.**__ I am that person who is to become the virtue of all Heaven. I am that person who is __**covered with the evil of all Hades**__._

_Thou Seven Heavens, shrouded by the Three Great Words of Power, come forth from the circle of inhibition, and be the __**hands that protect**__ the balance!"_

A miniature sun came to life within the confines of a castle chapel, in a place where winter never ended.

* * *

"Hoo, boy…That's not good."

"I believe 'not good' is a _**severe**_ understatement to describe the situation at hand."

"Well…it'll definitely be fun to watch for _us_, but Godoka—"

"_Hush!_ Do you wish to summon Her here with your words? What She doesn't know won't hurt Her, Kyouko-san."

A raised eyebrow, followed by a fang-toothed grin.

"Oh, so the prim and perfect Tomoe Mami has a dark side! But that aside…_Seriously_. She's fucking omniscient now. Do you honestly think She doesn't know already? The Girl's been keeping tabs on her the most out of all the other Puellae Magi—the stalker positions have been reversed."

A sigh from the beret-wearing blonde.

"Yes, I know that! Besides Madoka, _she's_ been looking forward to this moment, too! Oh, just imagine the thoughts that must be going through Akemi-san's head right now…And to make matters worse, there is hardly anything anyone can do about it…This truly is a dire predicament."

Another grin from the spear-wielder.

"'Dire predicament'? I think you mean to say _**'Shit just got real'**_, cuz there's no way Homerun's gonna take this lying down!"

* * *

The smoke swirled around her slight form, and the words came unbidden, falling like rain from her lips as her dazed mind tried to wrap itself around the current situation.

…_Mado…ka…Where…Where's Madoka…? She was…right here…She was—!_

"I ask of you…are you my Master?"

The words felt so incredibly wrong, so incompatible with her being…yet, it also felt _right_, like it was completely natural to make such an inquiry…

Such a simple thing; such a weighty question…almost as if her very life depended on the answer the bewildered man before her would give.

"Yes…I am."

* * *

"…_What are you saying?"_

If the ethereal being before Her could have shrugged, it would have done so.

"_The call was made and I responded as I wished. It is as simple as that, Goddess."_

"_But did you have to include _her _in this? I—_**We** _have been waiting for this moment! _She's_ even been waiting for far, _**far**_ longer than _**I**_ have!"_

It 'shook' its head and offered a helpless 'grin'.

"_I am sorry, Goddess, but the pact has been made. Her fate cannot be changed until the outcome has been decided. By then, she will be able to return to You, safe and sound. You need only wait a little bit longer. After all, a week or two are but the blink of an eye to an immortal, no?"_

Madoka bit Her lip, balling up Her fists in an attempt to restrain Her divine fury as She considered the options available at hand. The Goddess could feel Her incorporeal companion watching Her reactions, waiting to see what would happen next. Though She could not see it for Herself, She was pretty sure it was borderline amused at the situation it created for Her, probably wearing a smug expression on its face…if it had one. _You bastard…_She thought irritably, calling upon Her rarely-used vocabulary. _You planned this all along, didn't you? Just like Kyubey…_

Yes, it _would_ probably be best to simply wait for Homura to finish playing its stupid game. She had to admit that.

_But still…_

"…_Holy Grail,"_ She said at last, invoking its name for the first time in Their conversation. _"I have an interesting proposition for you."_

"_Oh? And what might that be, Goddess? You should know that it is very difficult to interest one such as myself. I have seen almost all there is to see."_

Taking heart in its words, Madoka took a deep breath, steeling Herself.

* * *

_We made a vow, a promise, to carry onward.  
_…_I'll see it through._

* * *

**A/N:**** …And there we go, folks. Chapter 1 is complete! I don't really like how it's so short, but…it's the beginning, so what can I say? xD I really hope I can continue with this—so far, it's been fun as hell!—but, as always, my studies could inhibit that somewhat. :/ This isn't **_**quite**_** a crack!fic, but it won't be **_**too much**_** of a serious-ish fic, either. At least, I currently don't intend for it to be. Probably more along the lines of humor for the most part (Homura in the war. Think about it. :3) and some shenanigans further down the road involving Waver.**

**Though, I can't help but think that some people might take this a bit too seriously and might start bashing me for not intending to include Broskandar. :/ Trust me, guys. I wanted to include him too, but…I can't quite figure out how to incorporate him into the story (yet?). She can only fit into probably three or four classes and I've already got 'em planned out…I could probably sacrifice Berserker, but…has Alexander the Great ever gone mad? Hmm…research will be needed. Since so many other fics are temporarily turning off Mad Enhancement, it could be entirely plausible…**

**So, erm…I guess this is the part where I tell you guys to review, eh? I'd appreciate it if you take the time to do so—how else will I know how I'm doing? :D**

_**(insert 'next episode' music from **_**Fate/Zero**_**)**_

**WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE STARCROSSED NOT-QUITE-LOVERS (yet)?!**

"Damnit, this is better than cable!" Kyouko laughed as she shoveled more popcorn into her ravenous maw. None of them were surprised when she choked a bit not too long afterwards.

Mami furrowed her brow, setting down her cup of tea. "Kyouko-san, you probably shouldn't indirectly tease your Goddess like that. Madokami's trying very hard in this problem with Akemi-san. Though there are a few setbacks—"

"Better. Than. Cable. You _have_ to admit that, at least."

"…Fine."

**HOW WILL KIRITSU—ER, **_**THE **__**MASTER**_** HANDLE HIS NEW SERVANT?!**

"Ah…that's _my_ automatic assault rifle."

"Hmph…I've seen better," Homura bluntly remarked, shrugging disinterestedly as she slipped the weapon into her shield. "This model is a little older than what I'm used to, but I suppose I'll have to manage for now."

Her Master pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to compose himself. "I'm going to need that for later."

"And _**I**_ need to go raid the JSDF and a few yakuza lockers."

**WILL **_**ANYONE**_** HAVE THE BALLS TO BE THE FIRST TO CLAIM THE HUNDRED GRIEF CUBES HOMMANDO LEFT BEHIND?!**

"Hey, mommy! Lookie what I found!"

"No, no, no, no…Don't touch that, sweetie! It's…It's very important property, understand?"

"Eh? But there's so many of them…"

"Just trust your mommy on this, okay, sweetie? Now put the Grief Cube dow—_Holy shit!_ Why the hell did you _throw it?!_"

"It tasted icky."

"You put it in your mouth?! The hell is wrong with you, child?!

"I—I mean…nice boys don't do that, sweetie. You'll get sick and the Puellae Magi will have to kill you in case you become a Wraith, understand?"

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME, IN…**

_**Chapter 1: Point Zero**_


	2. Point Zero

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Fate/Zero_ or _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_—they belong to TYPE-MOON and SHAFT, respectively…with Gen Urobuchi at the helm. :D

**A/N: **So…33 Follows with only the Prologue down? Geez, that's a large number… O.o;; (Not that I'm complaining. xD) I do wish there were more reviews, but I suppose that'll just come with time, eh? And while I'm at it, you guys should definitely review after reading…and check out my other stuff. *shameless self-advertisement*

Anyway, I'm currently faced with the problem of trying to balance things out in Chapter 3 so that Homura won't just pull a 'serious Gilgamesh' and win the Holy Grail War with ease—I'm talking around a few hours if she can find out the locations of the Masters and Servants…Wait, scratch that; she'll be stopping Time to do all this, so…_Holy shit_, that'll be like an hour, tops. O.o;;; Now that I think about it…isn't stopping Time and shooting your opponents full of lead while they're unable to do anything kinda unfair? I mean, how can you fight against Time itself?! xD Geez, Homura...

I sense an omake on the horizon.

**EDIT (2-10-12): After thinking this over...Perhaps I shouldn't have added that previous paragraph. It was merely random thoughts/offhand commentary tumbling out as I typed—I suppose I wasn't thinking as well as I should have when this happened. It's giving people...the wrong idea, so to speak. And I think another major problem is also the fact that my writing is generally serious in nature—I'm not too adept in writing things that are humorous and _not to be taken seriously_—so that matter will have to be remedied at once. I stated before that this fic would have crack elements to it and should not be taken seriously. I simply wanted to write this for fun and see how it would go—I'm no idiot; I can tell that there would be better writers out there who could take this idea and give it the serious spin it deserves.**

**So...yeah. At this point, I feel like I'm stepping around a minefield right now; that I'm treading on thin ice this early on. That's...rather alarming. I suppose I should have seen this coming by idiotically commenting that Homura's abilities are hax and that she could...y'know, curbstomp and stuff. It's commentary, people. That's not (currently) what this fic is going to boil down to. I guess I'm still a little wet behind the ears in both fandoms—particularly _Fate/_. I almost forgot how technical the more serious fans could be—just look at the wars on YouTube.**

**I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations, EXpertUS and all who have reviewed so far. I appreciate the criticism; truly, I do. I just...I suppose I'll need to change my writing style a bit, then. I'm giving it a serious tone when its supposed to be crack and that's misleading people in a direction that I didn't want it to go in.**

**So...I'll say this now. If you want a serious fic that strictly adheres to the complex rules of the Nasuverse, a fic that you're expecting to be like _Fate/Zero Sense_, _The Goddess of Hope_, _Nerve Damage_, _Fate/Stay Away_, or any of the other, _better_ fics...then I'd suggest looking somewhere else. _The Bullets of My Gun_ was written for fun and the mentality I had while writing this was that it wasn't meant to be entirely serious—it was crack, in my head. The title should have been an indication—it's a parody of the UBW chant. A parody. (I'll be changing the genre to Parody to avoid confusion)**

**And yes, I admit that the whole thing with Waver didn't sit well with me, either, but I wanted to add in some sort of thing with the two Britons taking Britain by storm, simply as a change of pace. I'll sit down and think of some way to edit things and make it work without coming across as 'pathetic'.**

**And as for the classes...I guess it's my fault for writing the chapters ahead of time—as in, I'm currently at the beginning of Chapter 3, which will undoubtedly need to be rewritten (as well as Chapter 2) in light of current views. I'll give the full list right now despite the fact that I wanted to reveal things as the story progresses, as people are already getting the wrong idea.**

**Saber—Arturia  
Rider—Homura  
Archer—Madoka (Puella Magi form, not as Madokami)  
Lancer—Diarmuid  
Berserker—Lancelot  
Assassin—Hassan-i-Sabbah  
Caster—A**** [EDIT (2-12-13): 1,000,001 repetitions. That is all.]**

**Again, I blame the serious nature of my writing and my tendency for details and shit. There was a reason why Homura couldn't fit in as Caster, and how I wasn't worried about Gilgamesh (cuz he wasn't going to show up, anyway). When I made that comment, it was with these current Servants in mind. So here's how the rest of the story is supposed to play out, as everything is apparently misleading:**

**[EDIT (2-12-13): I have taken down the synopsis after 2 days and tried—rather unsuccesfully—to hide the biggest spoiler I have in my arsenal, as that is enough time for a good number of readers to be familiar with what is to come. I'm sorry that I've had to spoil things for you guys, but I don't want to mislead anyone in light of some views. But for those of you who didn't have the displeasure/pleasure of reading what was basically a detailed summary of how _The Bullets of My Gun_ is going to play out, just know that the reason why Homura can't be Assassin either is due to Hassan being needed for the _Unlimited Firearms/I Have Amassed Over a Thousand Firearms_ parody. Her Riding skill was also significantly bumped up to make her qualify due to A. M.'s influence because of the ultimate—yet odd and crackish—goal in mind.**

**And with great reluctance...I had to reveal A****'s appearance to explain why Homura can't be Caster, either. Just know that Caster is more insane and inclined to be bloodthirsty as well as not really caring what happens to innocents/bystanders/people in general due to falling in and out of insanity over...y'know, looping 1,000,001 times. (Should I even try to hide it anymore...?)**

**Seriously, people. Just wait a bit until all of the Servants have made their appearances before jumping to conclusions.**

**Also (and I'm certain I'm not the only one who's wondered about this—remember, we're keeping things theoretical here)...imagine stepping outside and exploding into meaty chunks from an incendiary device lodged where incendiary devices are not supposed to be, nor designed to be lodged, all before you even have time to _think_, let alone cast a spell, draw a sword, open a Gate, etc. Depending on the usage, this can be devastating, but also very boring for battles. And also...headshots with the cold muzzle of an assault rifle pressed directly against your scalp in a frozen Time—your head would probably explode once it resumes.**

**When Time Stops are like second nature to you—particularly when you easily screw around with red-headed-food-loving spear-users, cheese-loving caterpillars, or chasing and catching up to trucks on a HIGHWAY and you draw upon _your own reserves_ of mana/Soul Gem...don't you think you'd at least learn how to be as efficient as possible with your powers, particularly when you've had over a thousand years of experience? And if it's _almost like breathing_ to you...would that make it more of a personal skill or an NP? Just wondering about stuff like that—I don't mean for it to escalate into angry rants/hate reviews/flame wars.**

**That's why this is a parody/crack.**

**Now I feel like I'm aggravating people again, but that's a plausible thing to wonder about. I'm not saying it'll happen per se, but it's not a possibility that should easily be dismissed. Just...be a little creative with Time Stops, guys—just because the show did it one way doesn't mean it'll be wrong if it happens another way. And in a more close up and violent manner, as A**** will later attest to. /END EDIT (2-12-13)]**

**Geez, what to do...this idea seemed better in my head, actually. Then again, I'm already imagining how everything's going to play out, so of course no one else can see it (like the fact that Chapter 2 is already waiting to be uploaded, but I'm just trying to gauge what the reactions are to chapter 1). This is what happens when you don't have a beta to go over your work...That said, I'm looking for a beta, people. If you think this train wreck can be salvaged with your help, then by all means, volunteer to beta. /END EDIT (2-10-13)**

**...On a different and lighter note, sometimes I feel like the little blurbs in the 'next episode' section at the end of these chapters are worthy of their own side-stories/spin-offs. xD _Legend of Homerun_, anyone? Ha-ha…you'll understand later, I promise…Hopefully.**

**Enjoy, those of you who don't mind.**

* * *

**The Bullets of My Gun  
**_**Chapter 1: Point Zero**_

_When I was young, the sky shone clear and bright and blue,  
__And I smiled through every day, knowing that all my dreams would come true._

* * *

He was sure he did everything right.

"I ask of you…are you my Master?"

The Magus Killer was known for his pragmatism and heightened attention to detail—the Servant summoning should have been no exception, compared to everything else he had been capable of doing; all of the horrors committed at his hands for the sake of his ideal.

"…Kiritsugu?" a snowy-haired woman with crimson eyes called from her place beside him.

His wife's worried voice successfully snapped him out of his shock. Pushing aside the unexpected problem for a brief moment, he met the questioning—albeit dazed—gaze of the one standing rigidly amidst the lingering traces of smoke. The once glowing array from earlier was now reduced to vague smudges of soot on the chapel's red carpeted floor, having completed its duty. Jubstacheit's homunculus servants would have a fine time trying to clean _that_ up later…

"Yes…I am."

The Servant stiffened briefly, brow furrowing minutely as if sharpening with focus before the action was banished just as quickly as it arrived.

"Then the contract is complete…I am Servant Rider. At your service."

Kiritsugu picked up on the misery hiding behind her indifferent tones.

Yes…_her_.

The Servant he had been aiming to summon for was the legendary King Arthur Pendragon, renowned King of Knights and wielder of the mighty sword Excalibur. The Einzberns had even gone through all the trouble of excavating Cornwall for _years_ before finally unearthing Avalon to use as a catalyst in the summoning. The mythical golden scabbard was currently still lying on the chapel's altar, gleaming proudly beneath the light of the many candles and taunting him at the unfortunate change in events.

_Like an unclaimed offering to an uncaring God_, the Magus Killer thought bitterly. _Jubstacheit would certainly get a kick out of this fine mess…_

Emiya Kiritsugu had planned meticulously for a king and knight.

He did not expect a young girl dressed in a sort of uniform with a black, white, and gray color scheme. Her black stockings had a diamond pattern to them, and a violet, diamond-shaped gem shone on the back of her left hand, where a strange gray shield with an hourglass embedded on the surface was adorned on her forearm. At his confirmation of their contract, the ruby-red sand had begun to trickle slowly into the empty bottom half. Her skin was pale, clashing with her long, silken black hair and those piercing violet eyes. She radiated a sort of lethality and power—nothing unexpected from a Heroic Spirit—but the red ribbon in her hair seemed a bit…off.

"Now…who the _hell_…are _**you?**_" the Magus Killer asked quietly, barely restraining his anger.

The girl did not frown at his question, nor at his choice of words. Instead, she simply flipped her hair and answered offhandedly, "Akemi Homura. Though I am quite clearly not the one you expected to see…believe me, _you're_ not the one I was looking forward to meeting, either."

"I can see that," he snapped at once, glaring at her. "It seems we are both in the same boat."

Her mask of indifference melted away as she matched his furious glare with one of her own, violet eyes narrowing into murderous slits. "Indeed we are, _Master_," she all but growled, distaste dripping from her cold voice. "And while we're at it, I'd very much like to know the name of the man who has denied me my rightful peace."

The Magus Killer scowled at her words, but secretly filed them away to ponder over later. _What an unusual Heroic Spirit…_his mind absently mused through his growing irritation. _She obviously did not want to be summoned, even though those in the Throne of Heroes exist for this sole purpose. She could be…troublesome._

"Emiya Kiritsugu."

"And I am his wife, Irisviel von Einzbern!" the snowy-haired woman beside him piped up cheerfully, clearly an attempt to diffuse the rapidly mounting tension in the chapel.

It did the trick. Rider merely blinked, looking at the homunculus in surprise, as if she just noticed her presence…which she probably did, considering her mystified expression from earlier. Taking advantage of her shock, Irisviel marched up to the stunned Servant and eagerly took her hands into hers. "Rider, please do your best to help Kiritsugu win the war! He may seem like a gruff, heartless bastard, but _really_…he's not!" she said, smiling reassuringly with her face mere inches away from the Servant's.

_Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Iri…_Kiritsugu mentally facepalmed. _I don't know whether I should hug you, or scold you for your intervention…_

"Ah…of—of course, Miss Einzbern." the dark-haired girl managed to say, nearly overwhelmed by his wife's boundless optimism.

"Irisviel is just fine. And your name…'Akemi Homura' sure is unusual for a Heroic Spirit. It sounds cool, though, even if it doesn't _quite_ roll off the tongue like 'Arthur Pendragon'!"

Kiritsugu did not miss the flash of pain in his Servant's violet eyes. It seemed as if her cold façade was threatening to break under Irisviel's friendliness—those orbs adopted a haunted quality to them, not unlike that of a soldier who had been on the battlefield for far too long. A hint of longing was present there; an ache to be released from duty…to see a loved one again…

…_Just like mine,_ he thought distantly, his mind going into overdrive as new questions presented themselves.

* * *

From the moment the Holy Grail filled her in on the details, shortly after her Master confirmed that he was indeed the one behind the summoning…Homura decided then that she absolutely _**hated**_ the man known as Emiya Kiritsugu. Everything about him, however trivial, seemed to disgust her now—his messy dark hair, the stubble on his chin, those haunted dark eyes, his black suit and trench coat, the butt of a revolver sticking out of his pocket…Her newfound and smoldering detestation was on par with the hostility she held for the Kyubey of the old world.

Which is to say that her hatred for this man was impressive, indeed.

It was because of Kiritsugu that she was torn away from her chance to reunite with Madoka. Homura had caught sight of the Goddess' vague outline during her final moments after putting every scrap of energy she had into her Witch-like wings. As she died, as her world turned white with a bright light…she was certain that Madoka had been on the verge of making Her presence fully known. There was an outstretched hand reaching for hers, a gentle smile beyond the light…and there were joyful tears, sparkling like the stars of the universe She lovingly watched over.

Emiya Kiritsugu violently ripped all that away from her with his summoning; stole her away from her Madoka.

Homura wanted to scream out against the universe at this horrible injustice; to release roughly 1,200 years or so of pent-up frustration, anger, sorrow, longing, and _unspeakable __**pain**__ of the deepest kind_…but no. The damned Grail would not have any of this, taking advantage instead of her bewilderment and pushing her along with finalizing the contract between Servant and Master…thus sealing her fate for the duration of this bloody war.

She wanted to hate his wife, too. But as the snowy-haired woman smiled at her and gazed at the new Servant with those kind, crimson eyes…as she marched up to her completely unafraid of the promise of murder that was assuredly in her hardened gaze, and welcomed her with a friendliness that Homura had not known for centuries…the former time traveler could not bring herself to do so.

_Madoka…_she thought with a pang as Irisviel von Einzbern gave her hands a reassuring squeeze after remarking on her unusual name.

…_She's just like Madoka._

* * *

Puella Magi Valhalla was alit with excited murmurs and whispered speculations.

The Goddess was currently engaged in a pressing meeting of the highest degree, yet Her warriors dared not raise their voices too high, for fear that She may suddenly return to reprimand them for such rampant gossip. The brief glimpse they had seen of their Goddess before Her departure for the aforementioned meeting both frightened them immensely, and sparked their curiosity.

All of Valhalla knew that today was an important day for their Savior, even though She did not openly express the reason _why_ to Her followers. The more clever ones had checked the Viewing Pools for an indication, but with so many events going on down in the mortal plane—all the parallel versions of them—they were hard pressed to find a clue…That is, until a certain dark-haired Puella Magi had summoned the full force of her nightmarish wings, burning herself out completely to take care of an immense horde of Wraiths. Some of the more analytical ones even commented—more to themselves, actually—that the attack almost seemed _suicidal_ in nature…Of course, the few who overheard such speculation quickly dismissed the idea, claiming it absurd for such a legendary figure to do so.

Even to the slowest of Puella Magi…Akemi Homura's final stand was obviously a sign.

Later on, it was absolutely confirmed that the dark-haired Puella Magi was the reason behind the Goddess' restlessness from earlier—borderline excitement, in fact. What more proof could one want if _She Herself_ departed for the mortal plane to personally see to the girl's retrieval, instead of the other part of Her divine subconscious that rescued Puellae Magi as a pink-haired girl with shorter hair? It was clear as day to all in Valhalla that this Akemi Homura meant something _dearly_ to their Goddess.

And then…_**it**_ happened.

They watched as the Goddess descended to the mortal plane, Her godly form slowly shimmering into focus before the dying Puella Magi. Joyful tears flowed freely from Her golden eyes as She reached a hand out to Homura, draining the grief from her Soul Gem; Her form growing more and more focused as the dark-haired girl drew her last breath. She smiled lovingly as She moved to close the gap between Them in what those watching from Valhalla had assumed would have been a tender embrace.

'Assumed', meaning that they would never know for sure, as Akemi Homura's soul suddenly departed before the Goddess could shepherd Her most devout follower to her rightful peace in Valhalla. The body vanished, as all Puellae Magi did when the Way of the Circle came to take them…but where the dark-haired girl's soul went was a mystery.

The shocked Goddess stood there for a moment longer, Her body stiff and Her golden eyes wide in disbelief. Her lips had parted slightly as she whispered, _"Homura…chan…"_, staring incredulously at the Homura-shaped void where Her arms undoubtedly wished to embrace. Her divine sense seemed to kick back into gear as realization flooded those golden pools, and the Goddess' tears of joy quickly turned to tears of misery as She buried Her face in Her hands, shoulders shuddering with each sob. Her glorious wings had drooped uncharacteristically as She sank to Her knees, calling a certain name over and over again, growing louder and louder with each repetition until She was almost screaming…

Their strong, unwavering, cheerful Savior, the Embodiment of Hope itself…was heartbroken. Of that, there was no doubt in the minds of the Puellae Magi who had watched with a growing sense of guilt, knowing that such a scene was no longer meant for their eyes.

…Needless to say, the Goddess had been absolutely _**livid**_ when She returned. Valhalla had trembled with the force of Her divine fury…and the air had grown impossibly chilly with Her anguish. The red-rimmed golden eyes told all.

They feared She would turn her wrath against them, though they inwardly knew such fears were unfounded—the Goddess was kind and forgiving; She would not willingly hurt innocents.

Unfortunately…there were only three Puellae Magi that did not share these worries.

* * *

"Oh, geez…Figures Homura would get caught up in something like this." Sayaka groaned as she turned away from the Viewing Pool, one of many that the Goddess had created to allow others to watch past and present events on the mortal plane.

The three of them were currently hanging out in a meadow a little ways off from the Main Pavilion of Valhalla, hoping to avoid the excitement of the other Puellae Magi…as well as continuing to spy on the developments surrounding their dark-haired former comrade. After Madokami's breakdown earlier, no one else had bothered to continue watching the Viewing Pools, having been too guilty to do so…It was a good thing that the three of them had nothing to worry about in that regard, as they knew Akemi Homura far more than the other Puellae Magi did. Mami had brought tea and cakes for their hasty 'picnic' and Kyouko was currently stuffing herself with the extra basket the musket-user had brought specifically for her.

"Well, at least Godoka is off doing somethin' about it." the spear-wielder remarked with a shrug as she bit into her fifth apple.

"True…but this is an entirely different league from what She is used to dealing with," Mami pointed out as she sipped her Earl Grey. "There is no guarantee that something might be done."

The blue-haired swordswoman arched an eyebrow at the beret-wearing blonde. "Do you have so little faith in Madoka, Mami-san?"

The veteran Puella Magi shook her head, smiling. "Quite the opposite, Miki-san. I have complete faith in Madokami's abilities, but that does not promise Akemi-san's immediate retrieval. Yes, She will try Her hardest, but…I feel that Akemi-san's fate is set."

"…You are correct, Tomoe Mami. Nothing can be done concerning Akemi Homura and her new role." a voice stated from behind the three.

Despite their collective surprise, Kyouko alone managed to act on instinct and currently had her crimson spear tip aimed at the newcomer's neck. The Puella Magi in question merely glanced down briefly to the weapon at her throat, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, as if enjoying a private joke.

"Oh…it's you." the spear-wielder said as she withdrew her lance, her lips curling into a fang-toothed grin.

"What brings you here…Jeanne d'Arc?"

* * *

"Iri…Is it too far-fetched to ask if there is an Akemi Homura in Arthurian legend?" Kiritsugu mumbled tiredly as he massaged his temples.

"You know as well as I that she isn't part of the legend, dear," Irisviel said with a sigh as she set down his cup of coffee in front of him. "If you want to know about her, just ask Rider herself. Or you could wait until the dream sequences kick in. Either way, she is definitely _not_ from the medieval era."

"Great…Not only do we _not _have King Arthur, we have a young girl from an unknown time period," the Magus Killer grumbled as he sipped his coffee. "Iri…As the Holy Grail's vessel, do you know if it is possible to summon a Heroic Spirit from the future? One would think it is nigh impossible to summon one from the present, as the closest we humans can get at this point is that of a Counter Guardian."

Somewhere, in the Throne of Heroes…a certain red-clad man with white hair sneezed.

Irisviel tapped her cheek thoughtfully as she took a seat across from him. "Well…yes. The Holy Grail bends time and space to summon the Servants. It is not too impossible to have summoned a Heroic Spirit from the future, where things might be…a little less than ideal."

Seized by a sudden flare of emotion at her words concerning the future, Kiritsugu reached out to tenderly hold his wife's hands in his. "If we win this war, hopefully we can change that future for the better," he said with an uncharacteristically gentle smile. "We won't have to worry about such conflict—the world will be a place where everyone can smile happily, where no one would have to cry anymore."

The Einzbern homunculus absolutely beamed at his words, gazing lovingly at the man before her as she gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. "Kiritsugu…as the Maiden of the Holy Grail, I will not allow anyone else to obtain it but you. The Grail _will_ be yours."

"Irisviel…" Kiritsugu's breath hitched suddenly. "You are too good to me, Iri…"

"If you two are finished, perhaps we can start our planning." a voice deadpanned.

The Magus Killer did not jump—he was a professional, after all—but Irisviel couldn't help starting a bit in her seat. She withdrew her hands from his and held one up to her mouth to conceal the way her jaw dropped open. "Ah! Rider, finished with your bath, huh? How did—How did you sneak up on us?" she asked, her crimson eyes wide in surprise.

"Presence Concealment." the dark-haired Servant answered simply, flipping her hair.

Kiritsugu narrowed his eyes, both curious at such a skill, and mildly irritated at her hair-flipping tendencies. _Is that a habit for her? Or is she simply that arrogant? …Nevermind; there will be time to ponder over that later..._ "'Presence Concealment'? That's a strange skill for one of the Rider class. Might I ask as to why you have it?" His Servant's stats revealed themselves as graphical bars hovering above her head in his vision. "And why it's so _damn_ high?"

He half-expected her to flip her hair again, but she didn't—opting instead to cross her arms and regard him with an almost contemptuous expression. "I would assume it has something to do with certain…abilities I had in my lifetime. Were it not for someone already summoning Assassin, I would assuredly have been slotted into that class instead…or Archer. Maybe even Caster if you really think about it."

The Magus Killer sighed heavily, reaching into his pocket and slipping out a pack of cigarettes. "Yet here you are, summoned as a Rider of all things," he remarked, lighting one despite the disapproving look Irisviel shot his way. "Tch. Better than a Saber, I guess. If the summoning had gone according to plan, I'd be faced with someone whose skills are wholly incompatible with mine."

He took a drag as his Servant furrowed her brow. "Loathe as I am to agree with you…it is very unusual that I've been summoned as Rider. As far as I can recall, I haven't—" Here, she inhaled sharply, as if just realizing something.

"Hm? What is it, Rider?" Irisviel asked in his stead, looking worried.

At the concerned glance his wife gave her, Rider immediately averted her gaze, biting her lip as she mumbled, "It's…It's nothing, Irisviel. Just a fuel tanker truck and anti-ship missiles."

"A…what?"

"So…you were aiming for a Saber, correct?" the dark-haired Servant asked dryly. "If I have taken his place, then who do you suppose has the Servant of the Sword instead?"

Kiritsugu frowned as he considered the possibilities. Facing a Saber in the war would be most troublesome—they were already known for being the 'best' class, with their well-rounded stats and for reaching the final round of the Holy Grail War without fail. "We will discuss tactics further once Maiya arrives, but I can share with you the Masters I currently have knowledge of. The first is Tohsaka Tokiomi, followed by Kotomine Kirei, Matou Kariya, and Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi. Based off of that…we have two Masters unaccounted for."

Rider scowled, her violet eyes betraying her disdain at his last words. "It's _always _the things you don't account for," she muttered bitterly. "Trust me; I know from personal experience."

* * *

Nearly halfway across the world, one of those unaccounted Masters was currently facing a dilemma.

"What the hell…is going on here?!" a distressed Waver Velvet lamented to himself as he beheld the Servant standing proudly in the sooty remains of the summoning array.

Said Servant immediately frowned disapprovingly at the magus' reaction. "You have not yet answered my question, Master."

"Yes, yes! I summoned you!" the British magus groaned, waving away _that_ issue and moving to the other, more _pressing_ matter at hand. "And you _definitely _do not look like Alexander the Great—you're not even wearing any _red_, for crying out loud! And you're a _girl!_"

It was true. The Servant before him looked like a young woman in her early twenties, with golden hair pulled back neatly into a bun, and piercing emerald eyes. Some of her hair was too short to be tied back by the blue ribbon, so they framed her youthful, porcelain face. She wore a royal blue battle dress trimmed with gold, complete with chest armor, gauntlets, and additional plates on said dress. Were it not for his current distress, the magus might have acknowledged that whoever it was he had summoned instead was very beautiful…even with all the battle gear.

The Servant took a step forward, clearly perturbed by Waver's disappointment. "Master, I cannot help if I am summoned, but rest assured, I will fight just as valiantly for you as Alexander would have. The Saber class is assuredly the most versatile of those in the Holy Grail War, and I will endeavor to act as your loyal sword."

The British magus ignored her noble words.

"Oh, man…I knew it! I _**knew**_ I should've just waited to do the summoning in Japan! But _noooooooo_, I just _**had**_ to summon a Servant in _Britain_, instead! I just _**had**_ to get all excited over getting my hands on a relic; I just _**had**_ to throw caution to the wind and summon one right away in the _bloody heart of the country_ where the _Clock Tower_ isn't too far away in _fucking __**London!**_"

A strange gleam appeared in his Servant's eyes. This, he took note of.

"We are in…London, you say? I presume in Britannia, correct?" Saber mused, peering at him intently for confirmation.

Waver fidgeted uncomfortably under her intensity. "Erm, well…yeah. We're in the outskirts of the London area but, uh…the country hasn't been called 'Britannia' for _centuries_. It's, um…known as Great Britain now."

The Servant nodded, clearly pleased with this new information, as the ghost of a smile danced across her lips. "And you, Master? You are a Briton, no? Not of vulgar Saxon blood?"

_Eh? Say what now?_ "Well…I'm British, if that's what you're asking, Saber. I was born in London. But, uh…what's it to you?"

Saber sighed heavily, the telltale sign of her excitement fading away as she shook her head. "It's just…Nevermind, Master. We must prepare for the Holy Grail War instead. It is…of a far more pressing matter to attend to."

Waver frowned, his curiosity piqued even more so by his Servant's attempt to steer them back to, arguably, a more important issue. "No, hold on…Now you have me curious. You can't just leave things at that and _not_ expect me to wonder what you have in mind."

The Servant of the Sword pursed her lips into a thin line, her emerald eyes piercing into his dark ones. "Master, I…I cannot. It would be irresponsible of me as a Servant participating in the Holy Grail War to pursue this…this whim of mine," she said resolutely. "My first and foremost priority is securing your victory. Turning my back on this struggle would only serve to reflect poorly on you, and tarnish my reputation as a knight of honor by failing to act in the interests of my liege."

Even though she completely avoided giving the answer he wanted, Waver couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed at his Servant's words. No one…had ever put him before their own interests before. No one seemed to care about what _he_ wanted, and this Heroic Spirit, this Saber…_she_ seemed to care. Perhaps not quite genuinely yet, as he hadn't told her what his goal was, but still…She would stand by him no matter what—this he knew almost instinctively.

"I…I, uh…Erm, thank you, Saber," the British magus spluttered for a moment as his cheeks flushed slightly, not quite sure how to respond to that. "It…It means a lot to me that you're willing to put your neck on the line for my sake. But still…No; _Because_ of that, I want to know what it is that _you_ want. You obviously hail from Britain, as you seemed so pleased that we're here, so…it has something to do with that, right? Something you want to do that you couldn't do back in your lifetime?"

"Master, I insist—"

"Just call me Waver. My name is Waver Velvet, third generation magus."

"I insist…_Waver_," Saber began anew, brow furrowing slightly as she hesitantly addressed him by name. "that we focus on achieving the Holy Grail for now."

"All in due time, Saber. I mean, we're right _here_, so we might as well, eh? There's no guarantee the both of us will survive the upcoming war, so we might not have another chance to do…whatever it is you want to do." Waver said, slowly growing irritated at his Servant's unwillingness to budge. Hopefully, by making it clear that this could be their only opportunity, he might get some answers out of the knight.

When she merely refused to say anything on the matter, he held up the back of his right hand, where the Command Seals glowed with a crimson light. "So God help me, I'll use one of these, Saber."

The Servant's eyes narrowed at his threat, making his knees go weak at the intensity within those emerald pools. "…You wouldn't dare."

"Oh yes, I would!" …_Not really. I wouldn't be stupid enough to waste these on something like this…_

"Fool! Do you not realize the power you hold with those Seals? To imprudently squander them on such a trivial request is madness!"

The Command Seals glowed brighter as Waver tried to shake his fist in a threatening way. Saber shrank back—not because of his 'scary' fist-shaking, but because of the light's growing luminosity. She was, believe it or not, looking worried.

"You better tell me what you want to do in Britain, Saber!"

"Master, please…it is for your own good! Those Seals are invaluable!"

_Oh God, I can't keep this up for much longer…If I keep stalling like this, she'll call me out on my bluff! Think, Waver…Think…_

"**By this Command Seal…I, Waver Velvet—"**

_You idiot! Not like that! You'll have no choice but to complete the comm—_

"F—Fine! I yield, I yield!" Saber exclaimed through gritted teeth, balling up her armored fists. "I'll tell you…Just as long as you swear to me that you will avoid wasting your Seals over trifling matters like this. I cannot stress to you how important they are to your well-being, Master."

"…Okay."

The knight arched a golden eyebrow at how readily he agreed with her. Waver merely offered a weak grin in return, his knees shaking from the whole ordeal. Thankfully, due to her worry over his potential mistake, Saber hadn't noticed…until now.

"You were bluffing the whole time, weren't you?" she deadpanned. "And you probably already know exactly how important the Command Seals are…don't you?"

"Will you still answer my questions, at least?" the British magus asked, not realizing how draining it was to maintain a front against her piercing stare. _Damn it…was it really worth all the trouble?_ "I'm your Master, after all. I have a right to know what motives my Servant has, especially in something as dangerous as the Holy Grail War. How else would we be able to trust each other?"

Saber continued to stare at him for a moment before she sighed heavily, shaking her head in dismay. "Very well. I promised you an answer, and by my honor as a knight, I will follow through. However, if you are indeed a Briton true…you may want to sit down for this."

Waver furrowed his brow, confused. He had assumed it would just be something like a quick jaunt to the city, probably to compare how it is _now_ to how it was _then._ Something like _that_ was harmless in itself, and then they could return their focus to winning the Holy Grail. "Why? What could possibly surprise me that much?"

"Well, for one thing…I am King Arthur Pendragon; King of Knights, wielder of Excalibur, Ruler of Camelot, defender of Britannia, and founder of the Knights of the Round Table."

...Yeah. _**That**_ could be more than _a little_ surprising.

* * *

Mami sighed heavily as she placed her teacup down, the 'clink' of the cup filling in the silence that followed the explanation the three of them had just received. Her fellows stewed in their own thoughts, trying to decide for themselves what this new information meant. "Thank you for…clearing up some questions, Jeanne-san. It certainly changes one's outlook on things as they are now."

The French Puella Magi gave a sympathetic smile. "I would've been surprised if it didn't. Although…I am confident that Miss Akemi will pull through. From the way the Goddess watches over her so lovingly, and from events in the Viewing Pools, she is a remarkably strong Puella Magi."

"Goddamnit!" Kyouko exclaimed suddenly, taking them all by surprise as she stood up, manifesting her crimson lance once more.

"Kyouko-san, what are you—"

"Why the hell does _Homura_ get to fight legendary figures from across time?! _**I**_ should be there instead, dukin' it out for an omnipotent wish-granting device and takin' names!" the spear-wielder griped, shaking her weapon as if to prove her point. "I mean, how _badass_ would it be to say that you went up against…I dunno, _**Genghis Khan**_ or somethin', and not only _lived_, but _kicked his sorry ass_ to the curb?!"

"And what if _he_ whups your ass and you die instead?" Sayaka pointed out, smirking at her red-haired friend.

"I could still say that I fought with _frikkin' __**GENGHIS KHAN!**_ That shit doesn't _matter!_"

Jeanne d'Arc frowned at the spear-wielder's eagerness to fight (and also at her vulgar use of language—shame on you, Kyouko). "Miss Sakura, the Holy Grail War is a _very_ serious affair. If you were a Servant and you died, you and your Master's wish would not be granted. Your goal would've been lost until the next summoning."

"But what if my goal was _wanting_ to fight with legendary heroes?! Wish granted already!"

"You could wish for an unlimited supply of Pocky, or all the food you could eat, instead." Sayaka deadpanned, beating Mami to the punch, as the beret-wearing blonde had opened her mouth to do just that.

Kyouko stiffened as a horrified expression formed on her face, her lance falling from slack fingers and dematerializing once it hit the ground. "…I didn't think about that."

"That's cuz you're a hopeless idiot."

"But I'm _your_ hopeless idiot, right?" the spear-wielder quickly bounced back with a fang-toothed grin.

"…Mami-san, do you mind if I use this for a second?"

"Oh, go right ahead, Miki-san! I can always bake plenty more after we finish up here."

Exactly 2.7 seconds later, Kyouko had fallen backwards onto her ass from the force of the pie thrown into her face.

"S—Sayaka! What the _hell?!_" she exclaimed as the other Puellae Magi laughed, angrily wiping the whipped cream off her face and licking it off her fingers. Food—even pies thrown into your face—was not to be wasted, after all.

The bluenette swordswoman smirked. "That's what you get for using weak pick-up lines like that."

"So if I used _stronger_ ones—"

Jeanne d'Arc suddenly rose to her feet, interrupting whatever the spear-wielder was going to insinuate. Her blue eyes seemed both focused and dazed at the same time, puzzling as it was. Her Puella Magi battle garb abruptly vanished in a burst of energy, replaced by an outfit that wasn't _too_ different from the original—she had armor and gauntlets, for one, and certain parts of her clothes were of a darker shade of violet. Her blond hair was also much longer now and was tied back into a single, orderly braid; she also seemed taller, due to her age suddenly shifting to that of a young adult instead of just barely being a teen.

"I am needed elsewhere," the French Puella Magi—if she still _was_ one at this point—mused as she held a gauntleted hand at eye level, flexing her armored fingers experimentally. "Such a shame. I was hoping I could watch over Miss Akemi's endeavors in the war with all of you…Alas, I have been called to a war of my own."

Sayaka was the first to recover from the unexpected transformation. "_Ehhhhh?!_ How could that be, if a Holy Grail War is going on right now?"

"Alternate worlds, my friend," the Puella-Magi-turned-Heroic-Spirit said with a smile. "I am afraid we will have to part ways for a while."

Her form began to fade away, and Kyouko finally snapped out of her shock, face reddening in indignation as she beheld the rapidly vanishing Heroic Spirit.

"_**Oi!**_ Hey, hold up a sec! That's not _fair_, Blondie! How come _**you**_ get to fight in _another goddamn Grail War_ and not _**me?!**_"

* * *

"You specialize in…_firearms?_" Kiritsugu clarified, crushing his cigarette in the ash tray nearby, and staring at her with an unfathomable expression. "This…certainly changes things even further. We will have to reconstruct our plans accordingly to accommodate this unexpected development."

Homura nodded in affirmation, unable to restrain her curiosity as to what he had in mind, especially since Irisviel looked positively ecstatic, like a child on Christmas morning. "I can store an unlimited number of them in my shield, and size is no problem," she explained, knitting her brow as she inwardly delved further into the implications of having the time-shield back. "Although…it's been centur—_a while_, since my last fight so I probably just have an extra pipe bomb or two and perhaps a dozen revolvers. Maybe even a machine gun, if I'm lucky."

She reached a hand into her hammerspace shield and made a face as her fingers failed to close around the gun she wanted.

"Scratch that; I'm not so lucky."

"Oh, Kiritsugu! Isn't this wonderful?" Irisviel exclaimed, prodding at her husband as she beamed. "Your plans should go just as smoothly now! You couldn't have asked for a better Servant!"

Homura couldn't fight the faint blush that crept to her cheeks at the snowy-haired woman's praise. Judging by her excitement, it was reasonable to conclude that Kiritsugu also specialized in guns as well…The dark-haired magus in question frowned as he stared intently at the former time traveler, his expression still unreadable. "Your guns…judging by the way you referred to them earlier, they aren't exactly on par with Noble Phantasms. Even so, will they be able to kill Servants? Being able to harm them, at least?"

The dark-haired Servant matched his frown with hers as she mentally referred back to the personal skills the Holy Grail had given her for the war. "They are…not Noble Phantasms; no. However, Prowess of the Traveler takes care of that."

Kiritsugu arched an eyebrow as he read her stats, immediately locating the aforementioned skill. "Truly advantageous and…ingenious, almost," he grudgingly admitted. "We will have to capitalize on that, of course. Luckily for you, I have contacts that can get us most of the equipment and firepower we need during the war."

The former time traveler flipped her hair, knowing very well by now that it irked her Master. It was rather petty, she knew, but…one deserved a little bit of self-indulgence every now and then. "That won't be necessary."

"Oh? What do you have in mind, Rider?" Irisviel asked curiously, leaning forward with her crimson eyes wide in expectation.

"The yakuza and the JSDF exist in this world, correct?" Homura prompted, though she had a feeling she already knew the answer. Her Master's distinctly Japanese name was a dead giveaway.

"Erm…yes. Why?"

_Bingo._ The dark-haired Servant did not bother suppressing the small, nostalgic smile that came to her face at the Einzbern's clarification. "I can easily raid a few of their lockers and get what we need. The military bases will be no hassle, either, and we'll have access to high-grade artillery. Anti-ship missiles would be a nice addition, wouldn't you say?"

"How will you do so without getting caught on their surveillance videos?" Kiritsugu pointed out, frowning at the seemingly obvious hole in her plan. "Even a Heroic Spirit can be captured on film, with or without Presence Concealment."

"I have…a unique ability." Homura answered, the tone of her voice making it clear that she was not going to elaborate further on the subject.

Her Master did not look convinced, even though his wife merely nodded, accepting her explanation for now. She took heart in that reassuring crimson gaze, allowing her to meet the magus' scowl with her own. He finished the remains of his coffee. "Even so…we cannot be too careful. With your unintended arrival, who knows what other unexpected changes might occur?"

The dark-haired Servant deepened her scowl at that infuriating reminder before giving her hair another contemptuous flick. "Are you suggesting that I am an irregular, _Master?_ An anomaly?"

"You have barely spoken about yourself, aside from your fighting capabilities. And even then, you were vague. What am I suppose to presume from that?"

"You will presume that I will win this war as quickly and efficiently as I can. Do make sure you won't get in my way."

"…Maiya," Kiritsugu called to a woman clad in black, who had been quietly observing the meeting the whole time. "Expand as much of our weapons caches in Fuyuki as you possibly can. I will be joining you a few hours later; Iri and Rider should arrive two days afterwards."

"Understood, Kiritsugu-sama."

Homura watched silently as her Master dismissed the dark-haired woman known as Maiya from the room. He handed her a plain leather briefcase and her eyes narrowed, taking note of the way the woman's fingers brushed against his a second longer than necessary. Her gaze drifted over to Irisviel, who had decided to pore over the papers scattered on the table intently in the face of the tension from earlier…oblivious to what could possibly be an affair happening behind her back…or rather, right in front of her.

_Tch. Just another reason not to like him_, the former time-traveler mused, feeling a surge of protection for the Einzbern. _I'll need to be certain; it is unwise to simply jump to conclusions in this unfamiliar world. But…_

Irisviel tapped her cheek thoughtfully before glancing over at Homura, a smile gracing her beautiful features.

…_I cannot help comparing her to Madoka, with her innocence and overflowing kindness._

* * *

If the ethereal being before Her had eyes, they would've been staring at her intently.

"…_Do You realize what it is You are proposing, Goddess?"_

She nodded. _"Yes, I do. If I cannot change Homura-chan's fate in your war, then this is the best I can do for her…for Us."_

The essence of the Holy Grail 'smiled', and the Goddess felt something that no divine being should normally feel—a shiver that crept up Her spine. For the first time in their meeting, She narrowed her golden eyes in suspicion, extending Her divine senses. The Holy Grail's true form was buried deep; every barrier imaginable thrown up to conceal what lay far beyond. With a little time, She could penetrate it, but…

"_Are You sure that You would not just rather _wait _for her return?"_ it asked, voicing Her unspoken misgivings before She could begin to pry. _"You have a duty to carry out, if I recall."_

"_As a Goddess, I can split my essence. That is how I am able to speak with you without slacking off in saving Puellae Magi before they turn into Witches. And as for Homura-chan…it has been far too long since she has seen Me last. The abrupt separation from earlier also needs to be addressed."_

The Holy Grail 'smiled' once more.

"…_Very well. I look forward to how things will play out, Goddess…You will have a handicap, obviously."_

* * *

_Now that I've grown, the sky fades dark and disappears.  
__And the future I once dreamed dissolves before my doubt and fear._

* * *

**A/N: And that, ladies and gentlemen…was Chapter 1. It's currently the longest chapter to date in **_**The Bullets of My Gun**_**, so I apologize for anyone's eyes hurting from all the text. I think I divided it up okay, so that shouldn't be **_**too**_** much of a problem…hopefully.**

**Anyway…seriously, the whole Waver and Saber team just kinda wrote itself into here. xD (kind of like a certain someone in the upcoming chapter 2…) Although, during the whole show I kept forgetting that Waver was from Great Britain. Of course, my subconscious back then was wondering what would happen if Saber—aka **_**King Arthur Pendragon**_**—found out that enemy Master Waver Velvet was also a fellow Briton. Sadly, that was not to be—he didn't even seem fazed from meeting one of his country's most famous cultural icons!**

**So…tweak a few things—like a spur-of-the-moment summoning in good ol' former Britannia—and…voila! Pandemonium that will undoubtedly ensue.**

**Ha-ha…I have great plans for that.**

**EDIT (2-10-12): See the Author's Note at the beginning of this fic, pertaining to the whole Waver and Saber thing.**

…**Oh, and before I forget:**

_**Prowess of the Traveler—B+  
**__Allows one to magically enhance firearms and manipulate any sort of technology available—particularly those geared towards offense—to at least Servant-injuring levels. There is no guarantee it can kill Servants outright, as it does not function as a Noble Phantasm, but if used correctly, effects can be devastating._

**A personal skill I made available to Homura; hopefully no one will be too miffed about it. :P I mean, the Servants in **_**Fate/Apocrypha**_** are getting some new personal skills that haven't been seen before. And besides, if that fuel tanker truck and those huge-ass anti-ship missiles in the anime were any indication, Homura has **_**got**_** to have some sort of influence over technology. Think of it…as a sort of dumbed-down and weaker version of Lancelot's Noble Phantasm, Knight of Honor. Her firearms don't become Noble Phantasms, but they'll have enough kick to deal some damage.**

**Unless…bullets and incendiary devices **_**can**_** affect Servants anyway? Argh, this is too confusing! I'm making this too serious as is! It's meant to be a parody/crack, above all! D:**

**…But personally, I find Imperial Privilege an amusing skill to behold. xD Simply because Nero demands it, huh? Priceless.**

**Review, you guys! How else will I know how I'm doing?**

_**(insert 'next episode' music from **_**Fate/Zero**_**)**_

**COULD THERE **_**REALLY**_** HAVE BEEN AN AKEMI HOMURA IN ARTHURIAN LEGEND?!**

"What is this…? I don't even…How the hell is this _possible?!_" Homura exclaimed to no one in particular, tapping frantically at her time-shield's sand-timer as if it would magically yield some answers to her current situation. "I'm not even allowed to go back this far!"

_**Later…**_

"Sir Ector, pray tell…who is that hooded one over yonder who has been staring at us most intently?

"I haven't the foggiest notion, Arthur. Divers sorts of travelers show up when the bishop beckons to make haste!"

Before the knight could muse any further regarding his foster son's inquiry, a serving wench came by to drop off their order of roast boar and three mugs of ale. Sir Kay dug into his meal eagerly, uninterested neither in Arturia's curiosity nor of the stranger keenly staring in their direction.

"Pardon my forthright intrusion, but…who is that hooded fellow?" the yet-unknown-King-of-the-Britons asked her.

"One of them rangers," she said with an irritated sniff, leaning in conspiratorially towards the fair-haired youth. "Dangerous folk, wanderin' 'bout the wild…Don't know what 'er name rightly is, but 'round these parts, they call 'er _Homerun_."

**WILL KYOUKO EVER FIND BETTER PICK-UP LINES?!**

"I don't know about Pokémon, but I'll take a Peek-at-you!"

Sayaka resisted the urge to facepalm as the spear-wielder waggled her fiery eyebrows, posing seductively on the picnic blanket.

"Kyouko, _seriously_…"

"There are two kinds of people in the world: my kind…and millions of jerks."

The bluenette palmed her forehead, summoning several cutlasses to her side.

"What makes you think…that any of those—"

And, in a desperate attempt to save her ass from getting kicked…

"If it's any consolation…I'm sure you'll make Unlimited Blade Works look sexy as hell."

**WHY WASN'T ISKANDAR/BROSKANDAR CHOSEN AS WAVER'S SERVANT?!**

The Author huddled behind a desk, barricaded inside with the computer screen as the only source of light at the moment. Angry voices shouted from beyond the fourth wall of the room, and furious pounding could be heard from a multitude of fists.

"We know you're in there, Quill! Now open the _damn_ door so we can kill you!"

"What did I _do?!_ I took some liberty, just like any other fanfiction author!" TWQ whimpered, dipping a quill—oh, the irony—into an ink bottle and writing out a hasty will on a random sheet of notebook paper among the essays for English Literature that were supposed to be worked on.

"You're _**not**_ supposed to separate the Waver/Broskandar duo, ya _**heartless bastard!**_"

"It's for the good of the fanfic! Adding Broskandar would be too much WIN for the fic to handle!"

A crack began to show on the door and the wall.

"_Damn it_…ink like this bleeds through this flimsy, recycled paper! I'll have to start over…!"

"You might want to do something about that fourth wall," a red-haired man with a fiery beard and a muscular physique casually commented from his spot on the couch, nonchalantly sipping a bottle of Morning Rescue. "If you don't appease them, it may collapse and all of Hades will be let loose onto this poor fic."

"Well…haters will hate, right? I can't do anything about that."

"Ha-ha! That is right! A king—Nay, an _Author_...must be greedier than any other. He must laugh louder and rage harder. He must exemplify the extreme of all things, good and evil. The Author must be thus, to inspire envy and admiration in his followers. He must light a flame in each of their hearts, so that they long to be like their Author as well!"

"Tch. As if _that_ will ever happen…"

**FIND OUT NEXT TIME, IN…**

_**Chapter 2: Connect**_


	3. IMPORTANT UPDATE

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, nor claim to own, _Fate/Zero_ or _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_-they belong to TYPE-MOON and SHAFT respectively, as well as both being written by Gen Urobuchi.

**The Bullets of My Gun**  
**AN IMPORTANT UPDATE OF THE NOT-QUITE-HIGHEST-DEGREE-DEPENDING-ON-HOW-YOU-LOOK-AT-IT-YET-IS-STILL-VERY-IMPORTANT**

Hello. Quill here.

While I know that some of you are looking forward to the next chapter, I'm sorry to say that it may take a while until I can upload _Chapter 2: Connect_ (technically chapter 3, according to the site's style/formatting, but to me, it's Chapter 2). The reason being is that for some odd reason that perhaps only Madokami Herself can fathom, the USB drive containing the entirety of Chapter 2, up to the beginning of the battle with Lancer in Chapter 3 (SPOILERS!), planning for the rest of _The Bullets of My Gun_ (including notes on the NPs to be used and Personal Skills) and its possible sidestories/spinoffs (_You Are My King_, _Hound of Valhalla_, and _A Glimpse of Heaven_ [this will hopefully make sense later] - all SPOILERS!), most of the rewrite for the Waver and Saber dialogue/scene in _Chapter 1: Point Zero _(which I was actually satisfied with and had hoped to finish up since I have a definite direction now) as well as the originals for the Prologue and Chapter 1 (which I included that synopsis of the whole fanfic that was on here 2-3 days ago), and many of my other non-fanfic-related word documents...have all been corrupted.

May you rot in everlasting Hell, BitDefender, for attempting to "repair" my files and converting it instead to .CHK files that I **CAN'T FREAKIN' OPEN OR MODFIY/REPAIR.**

And on another note...I both love and hate you, Microsoft Word. I love that I can type stories on you and do a ton of stuff...but I hate you for being so goddamn corruptible on the files I need during the times I need them most. Like Chapter 3 of _Off Balance_; the version I finally put up here was nowhere near as satisfactory as the first one I typed up before Word mutinied against me. :/

And, unfortunately...once I sit down to rewrite Chapter 2 entirely from memory, it will _definitely_ be _nowhere __**near**__ as satisfactory_ as the original once was. In this case, ladies and gentlemen, the Faker cannot surpass the Original. Human memory can only be so accurate, and I know that much of the effect will be lost, even if it does sort of free me up to do some more creative changes. Particularly with A****'s summoning by everyone's friendly neighborhood serial killer, Uryuu Ryuunosuke. I was so proud of how I did this part, and I'd never dream of touching it up a bit simply because I was _so damn happy_ with how it turned out...but alas, it suffered a premature end at the hands of corruption.

(Quick fun fact: during the time I was writing the Prologue, I **_never_** intended to include A**** in this fic. She just...kinda wrote herself into the story - not that I'm complaining. :D)

But yeah...losing the details for A****'s summoning was the biggest blow (that, and the fact that many of the documents included a resume I spent hours on, and also a 24-file project that makes up 60% of my Economics course...). There was also a crackish little scene in the opening of Chapter 2 involving a certain pink-haired Archer and "the world's most glamorous douchebag" (as quoted by a certain review on YT) that I'm sad to say has been lost, as well. 'Twas amusing, too...Here's a little snippet from what I can still remember - do note that it's not entirely accurate:

* * *

_...One by one, they all descended into the Mongrel Plane to squabble over his treasure. The first to go was a black stray with a silly white mask, followed by a bad-tempered mutt with hideous dark armor, a stiff pup with armor that did not gleam as brightly as his, and a dog in a dark green bodysuit._

_**Mongrels,**__ all of them._

**_He was _****King.**

_He spread out his arms, as if to bask in the glory of permitting the Mongrel Plane to host his presence once again. "I shall-"_

"Excuse me! Coming through!"

_A pink blur ran past him, making the 'King' stumble back in a most undignified fashion wholly unbefitting of his stature. With feral crimson eyes narrowed into twin slits of fury as he tried to regain his balance, he opened his mouth to angrily reprimand this mon..._grel...?

_Crimson eyes, softly tinged with pink, gazed back at him apologetically over a petite shoulder - _

* * *

...Yup. I kinda liked how that scene turned out when I originally typed it, too. Crackish, yes, but I liked it.

And in regards to the Waver and Saber scene, I took EXpertUS' advice and drastically rewrote stuff - also making it longer, but I like writing long things so it's all cool - and Waver is, or rather _was_ a little more in tune with how he was in the anime. Sorry about that, guys; I was still in the mindset of another character when I was writing him and forgot to shift out. :/ And after getting more into his head to make the scene a little better...**_damn it_**, Waver Velvet is hard to write. I actually find it quite difficult to sympathize with him - if anything, I can understand where _everyone else_ is coming from, just...not him.

Oh, boy. That's gonna be a headache.

Let's see...anything else...? Nope, I think I've said all that needs to be said. Again, I'm really sorry for this delay, but unless you can help me find some way to recover all of those files, then Chapter 2 won't be up till a few weeks from now. In the meantime, go read some other (better) fics or check out my other work - the poll for the theatre arc for _Off Balance_ is up on my profile, by the way, for any readers who are following that story. And also -

_**...DAMN IT!**_ _I just remembered!_ *insert long string of vicious obscenities here* For any of you _Birds of a Feather_ readers out there (heheh...I think you know where this is going... O.e;;;), erm...yeah. Most of Chapter 2 of that fanfic was also part of the files that freakin' BitDefender tried to "repair". In fact, the entire contents of the folder I labeled, "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" in my USB was corrupted. (It went Grief Seed!)

So there goes _Birds of a Feather_...

And _The Bullets of My Gun_.

...Geez, February is _not_ a good month, is it?

But on a lighter note, I'm playing "空は高く風は歌う/Sora wa takaku kaze wa utau" in a...recital of sorts, this month. Yup; spreading F/Z love among the unsuspecting masses. :3

And also...remember that terrible Pokemon pick-up line with the "Peek-at-you"? My Psychology teacher actually told us that one; said it with a straight face, too. xD

Normally, I'd tell you guys to review, but there really isn't anything to review on. So...till next time?


End file.
